I had to look at my slice from last year’s SOL challenge to remind myself what I did on this day last time. March 9th is the anniversary of the passing of my younger brother, and only sibling. I can’t even believe it’s been SIXTEEN years. It is crazy to me. I swear, this week, no matter what I am doing or what’s happening in my life, I always carry around a heaviness to me. A sadness to remind me, even when I’m not thinking about it, it’s “that time of year.” 😦
He would be 43 if he was still with us today. He would most likely be married with a family and I believe that we’d still be close and our kids would be as well. I think about the fact that my husband (who shares his birthday…) and my son, Brayden, never knew him. They only know of “Uncle Drew” from pictures that we have, and stories that they’ve heard from myself or the family. They never knew him, and they are the most important people in my life. It’s so strange to me…
I have 27 years of memories with my kid brother. Some are great, some remind me of how annoying he could be, and how we could fight as only siblings can! However, when we were in our “twenties” together, he stopped being my kid brother at some point, and became my friend. We hung out together, like on purpose! We shared the same group of friends, worked at the same part-time job when we were both back in school. Him for his Bachelor’s in Criminal Justice, me for my Master’s in Counseling Psychology. We commuted together to Northeastern University in Boston, worked at the same restaurant, and hung out with the same “crew”. I will always cherish those last few years before he got sick, when we became “real friends.” I’m so glad we had that time. I just wish that we had had more. I would have loved to see him and my husband laughing and joking (probably teasing me as they both love to do) at holidays and family parties. I would have loved to have him at my wedding, and to have been the godfather to his nephew, Brayden. I would have loved to see what he did with his life, who he married, and how he would have been as a father. Yet, none of this was meant to be.
I was lucky to have him in my life. I don’t regret any of it, just wish we could have had him longer. I see him sometimes in my son. His humor, his mischief, so much like his uncle Drew. Brayden loves asking about him, and for me to tell him stories about the two of us when we were young. I Can’t wait to get home tonight, give him a big hug, and think of another “funny Uncle Drew” story to share with him… This is how my son will know him. This is how we can remember him. Truth be told today, on this 16th anniversary, I just miss him. So. Much.