Positive Vibes

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So when I first started slicing for the March Challenge, I titled my blog “Work in Progress” . How true this statement is for me and it means so many different things. Working on my writing, and trying to continue with it regularly. (I suck at it lately…) Working on my relationships and being the best mom and wife I can be. Working on finding balance between work, home, family, friends, Brayden’s activities, finding time for myself, etc. and also working on accepting myself and just being comfortable in my own skin. (Not always easy for me.)

My husband told me recently that I was too hard on myself, and truth is he’s right! I am, and it doesn’t take much for me to start down that road of negative self-talk/thinking. I am bloated, I look tired/, old, whatever. He tells me I look nice and I reply with I feel fat, or I’m disgusting or no, I don’t. Look at the dark circles under my eyes. It is out of my mouth before I even realize it.  So not the easiest thing to admit about yourself, especially since you’re not even sure why or how it began. I am healthy, strong, and have a job that I love and that I’m good at. I have a wonderful husband and son, great friends, and a pretty good life. I try to be positive and kind to others so why don’t I give myself the same respect? I am not sure. I do know that it is something I need to work on

Heartbreaking Lesson

So today in my 5th grade classroom we did an anti-bullying activity on how words hurt called “The Crumpled Heart”. Many elementary school teachers know of some variation of this activity, and the message. I drew the outline of a huge heart on easel paper and gave each of my students a small, colored, post-it. They were to write one word/phrase that a friend or peer has said to them that hurt their feelings and stuck with them. They then took turns bringing their word up and placing it on the easel and after they did, they crumpled the heart a bit to show how it felt to have someone say that to them. At the end, there are 20 words/phrases in a very wrinkled/crumpled up heart to represent the impact the hurtful words and behaviors can have on us.

I have done this activity for years, with many different classes, however this year it really stuck with me and I feel I got more emotional than I had in the past. I am not sure if it was the degree of nastiness of these words/phrases or just how well I’ve gotten to know my students this year. I do feel in the past, we have done it during October during Anti-Bullying Month. However, I waited until May this year and it was very fitting due to some “incidents” recently with students being mean to each other. I tried to upload a picture of the heart, but it was tough to see all 21 posts in the picture, so I thought I’d just write what was written in the actual heart. This list is really hard to read. 😦

  1. You’re ugly
  2. I’m going to kill you
  3. You’re gay
  4. You’re fat
  5. You’re stupid
  6. Nobody likes you
  7. You are dumb (dumbface)
  8. You are the Duff (definite ugly fat friend)
  9. You need to Grow up
  10. You look anorexic
  11. Who invited you?
  12. You have buck teeth
  13. You’re bad at everything you do
  14. You’re annoying
  15. Everybody hates you
  16. You’ll never be good enough
  17. Why don’t you just die

*A few of these were written by more than one student. Kids can be so cruel, and it’s so hard as an educator as we really want to teach them to be respectful, and kind, and just “Good” human beings! It breaks MY heart to think of my students being hurt and worse, that they might be hurtful to others. Sigh. I guess we just keep fighting the good fight and hoping that we can get through to some. Just keep swimming…

wrinkled heart

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